July 4, 2012

-.things change.-

It's not so nice when you realize that people that you used to know very well can change. 360degrees or even more. how quickly a decission can change your everything in bad. or good. it depends of the situation.
For me, everyhting turns into hell with every word i say, every move i make, every kind of decission. Even when i'm steppin' back there is someone that has to comment or even better to make me hate my life. It's so hard to get up but i learned that i must to get up and give them a real reason to hate me because i can make it even better everytime. I'm a fighter. I can fight till the end. They are just jealous or they try to put me in a bad mood. Having a bad mood always (like me) can affect your present and future plans, your actions and then? Then you hit the ground. And you get hurt by the people you love the most.
In a society like nowadays we are alone. There are no families, no buddies, no couples. nothing more that a person. you. it's a society that you can't handle it. i feel like an average man in Greece, when they were fighting (the two sides: the left side against the right one and the oposite.) he was in the middle. in a convocation of the left side he decide not to go because they were in the same part of the war but still fighting and throwing rocks on each other. so he left desappointed. he decide to go home. but no one was waiting for him except, his little goldfish. and he was in danger because the men of the right side were trying to kill all the people with the left believes. so my man bought a bread and decide to walk around and find a place were he can find his inner peace. he remembered about his wife who died in a car accident, his parents that didn't love him like he needed, his dreams and hopes that now were the last thing he could think about. he realise that he is alone. more than alone. a thing. because his dad told him when he left that things change. and so it is. he changed. a lot. more than a lot. a lot a lot. he decide to go home. unless there is someone still real in his life. his goldfish that will be extremely happy to see him home. he decides to wait his death with the only person that were still alive. his goldfish.
So i'm talking to the heats..to all the people who feel alone.Like me. like you. like them. don't panic. you're not alone. you think that your weak but the greatest power comes when you're in a huge emotional pain. and once you get up it means that you grow up and the next lesson it's to forgive. to forgive yourself and then all of them because they suffer too. but don't let them get used to it.
After my experiences of falling down and hit the ground in any kind of situation i leaned to think twice, to not involve my feelings because i get easily hurt and to forgive them. not to forget but to forgive. And to all of you that you gave up so early, it's so sad because the answear of the question :'how do you feel?' is always "Still the same" or maybe "like hell" or even better "sad and alone"-and you get used to it. And it's not healthy.

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