July 29, 2013

'Depression'

title : Hello you little angel :)

introduction : 'i'm sure you have been missing me! right?'
(feeling still tired and hot because of the Cyprus weather, sitting on my brother's bed inour small but cute room, typing like a maniac my emotions. again.)

So..we are in Cyprus after our second year of university. how i feel about that? not so good as it sounds.
i mean i think about you all the time. no friends at all and the worst? all day i spend inside my house, something that is not the definition of 'Best Summer Holidays'.

if i could name this chapter of my life i could deffinetly named it 'Depression' (which i just did)
ok someone who doesn't know me will think 'what's wrong with this sociopath?'
Oh well the problem is bigger than i thought. i miss my baby (Sebastian), i have no summer job and no friends at all. no one to discuss with and it starts all over again.

Sooo..
1. i miss my baby because he is 67km away from me..so i need my Serius (my car's name and yes i named it like this because for me it's cool) but my mum's car is used by her boss so she needs my teddy. unfortunatelly my baby has no driving license so it's up to me this situation.

2. i have no summer job which means 0 euros in my pocket 0 euros in my bank account and 0 possibilities to see my baby..please note that it's the first time in my life when i can't find a job. so sad about it..

3. my friends..Zaklin and Maria. I can see Maria twice a month..that means about 6 hours in a total if we are not going anywhere to spend more time together. about Zaklin because of my family which doesn't agree that i'm 21 years old and i need to meet my friends i can't meet her..and this is the point when i feel ruined..:( miss my girls so much..

4. i'm home alone. not actually alone. because i have the three little ladies with me Mitsi,Coca and Carlita (doggies) and my little brother sleeping all day :) not he is not so little he's 17 in December.

why i'm telling you this?
because i'm sad and i really found in this haos what i really need want and miss.


here we are:
what i really need is
-my baby
-Carlita Asterix and Maya (aww..Maya..:'( )
-courage to deal with everything every day
-a job 
- a house
-to finish my studies


i want
-all the above
-love
-hugs
-to cuddle in bed
-to sleep for a week
-to write a book (a dream that i want to make true..)
-to have babies..no more than 3
-to have a happy family
-to be brave enough to deal with illness and situations.

i miss
-everything 

i want to delete
-my emotions
-the bad things in my life
-lies
-false people
-this kind of parts of my entire life


note to myself:

MAKE THE DAYS COUNT!

p.s. Baby, i love you..

1 comment:

  1. Of course I have been missing you, baby!

    Note to yourself: PATIENCE!

    P.S. I love you!

    ReplyDelete